So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
