she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
