from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
