Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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