Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
