I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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