I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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