wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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