Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It's just like the Real World with babies
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
