forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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