saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
His hands were made for my vagina.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
