Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm passing your future prison.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
