It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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