Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
