It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she peed on how many people?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm too high and old for this...
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