Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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