looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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