this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize