playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sorry about my life...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
