It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
