Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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