Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize