What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
