A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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