Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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