we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
