Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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