i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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