I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Come see our sink grown plant.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
