thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have demons in me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
