I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
