Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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