New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
being pregnant is like rehab
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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