I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
