if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
