For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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