I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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