so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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