i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
