So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
