ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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