By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
