You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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