I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
