he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
