He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
