I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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