Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i barfeds in our rink
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
