i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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