She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
