I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
