going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
